Officially, my house has been Spring Cleaned!!! I personally can say that having my house in order, having everything all pretty and clean and purified puts my mind and soul at rest. I almost can't wait to get home and "play house" every night after work or school when I know my house is all pretty and perfect. Considering the relatively large tornado I tend to be, most might be surprised by this. After all, I can function just fine with my house in chaos: even when there is barely an inch of exposed space on the ground/counters/general surfaces, I can still tell you 99.9% accurately exactly where everything is. Seriously.
And although it may seem that I am most happy in my little sty, quite frankly I prefer everything sparkling and orderly (please, never tell my mother about this post: likewise, I will remove the blog link from my email's to her so she never accidentally falls into this information!! :-p). And now that my fridge and freezer are full to the brim (I went grocery shopping like grown folk: meat store, west indian food store, general grocery store--best value for your buck is what I was all about :-D!!) and my house is all clean, laundry all folded and put away, office all organized, I feel like a whole new me!
And not only do I feel brand new and all re energized from the state of my house, my new workout regimen has my feeling so much younger and much more attractive. I really feel like things are coming together for me. So much so, I'm starting to think about the future. When I feel things all together like this, it really makes me want to be married, have my own little house and little family to take care of. Well, maybe that's moving a little TOO fast, but it would be really nice to have a co-habitator.
I'm about to make pork chops, and it would be so awesome to have a live-in hubby to share all of this glory with. *Sigh*--all things in their time though. I'm not stressing, of course---you know me, little Ms. Independent would probably get sick of a co-hubby in 2.5 seconds...although seriously over the past year or so I am beginning to wonder how true that is anymore. Meh. We shall see.
Anyway, it seems as though there is some type of spring flu/cold going around lately, as a lot of people I know have been sick (and not that I infected ALL of them mind you--most of 'em I haven't seen in quite a while!! :-p). So if you happen to be one of those unlucky ones struck with this spring virus, I say get well soon, drink lots of OJ and water, and take advil--for some reason it's working better at fighting the fever that comes with this bug. And if you're not, avoid it like the plague, it sucks!!
Anywho, I'm off for now. Hope everyone enjoys the last precious few hours of their weekend and that their Monday kicks their week off to a great start
Cheers
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Take some accountability
Before I start I just wanted to say that I think I've figured out why I end up not posting after a while: (and please don't laugh or start looking for blonde roots :-p) it's hard to remember to save your thoughts and opinions for your blog, or to remember half of your thoughts or feelings or opinions about things on command when you have an available moment to document your thought processes. I will go into this in more depth later, this isn't the topic of discussion, I just felt like saying it, is all.
Anywho, so I am so sick and tired of this North American Society. Seriously. Like WTF is wrong with a society when it teaches everyone that they are not responsible for themselves, that there is always someone else to blame at the very least, and that after taking absolutely no accountability for our decisions and actions that we are allowed to bitch and moan profusely about the "unfairness" of our condition. Like, Seriously? (And let me just say that this isn't even CLOSE to my only problem with this society, just happens to be the thing grinding my gears at the moment).
Sorry, I'm not explicitly trying to be offensive, but if I offend you then maybe you are one of these people who needs to stop being a pseudo victim and start being empowered.
But yeah, for example, fat people. If you are fat and happy, more power to you. Seriously. It's not the best thing for your health, but if you can live your life and be happy with yourself, I ain't mad at ya. But what I can't stand are these frickin people who cover everything they eat in mayo, "don't eat alot" but forget to count half of their impromptu snacking sessions, eat things that are like 100 calories per piece (chicken wings, in case anyone didn't know, are crazy crazy calories), drown themselves in fruit juices, go out for drinks every weekend, 2L bottle of pop every week, and never work out except for their one "workout" of about 15 minutes where they do some half-asses crunches, and yet have the nerve to be upset and confused as to why that they are fat.
And they aren't the worst. Seriously, they're just irritating. It's the ones like that dumb ass in the US who sued McDonald's for making her kid fat. Like, seriously? Take some frigging accountability people. Put the shitty food down and make a healthy decision. Instead of watching the Biggest Loser TV show, do the Biggest Loser workout. Don't cry that you can never find any of the pretty stuff in your size and buy yourself a target outfit in a size that the store actually carries and then moderate what you eat and exercise til you fit into it. Don't want to do any of this? Wanna glower at the skinny ones and say "she's so lucky she's thin, why aren't my genetics like hers, i hate her"? Grow the $%#@ up people. Seriously. Put up or shut up.
And it's not just with fat people that you come into contact with these whiny individuals. Like I said, it seems as though North America is breeding this new helpless generation on purpose. And they're like this about everything. I use the weight thing only because it's the easiest example to illustrate my point. Like, seriously, I gained a lot of weight in 2004 very quickly (I went from 145ish to 210 pounds). I was ballooning way too quickly, so I figured it out and started monitoring my portion sizes (I don't diet, as anyone who knows me knows...I like tasty food, and i like eating what I want when I want).
I stopped ballooning, didn't lose anything. Did some mild working out, lost a bit, not much. I knew I wasn't willing to work for it though so I just shut my mouth about it. It was nobody's fault but my own, so how dare I bother them with it. I lost a lot of weight dramatically when I was working at Ricki's last summer (6 dress sizes, 6 weeks...I know, I have no idea how it happened...I went from 185-190 to 155...LOVE it!!). But yeah, I was still monitoring portion control, and I put my all in anything I do, plus I started being more regularly active, walking more places than driving if possible etc.
The point is that even a year later, not working there, having not worked out at all until maybe a couple months ago (until ZUMBA blessed my life :-D) and managed not to get huge. Why? Because I take accountability for myself, what I eat and drink and my level of activity. I don't wanna get fat, gotta do what I need to do. Much like I want a super sexy bikini bod by my birthday (August 2) instead of hating the "genetically gifted" I have put myself on a 4-5 day a week hardcore workout program to get to my goal. Because I take accountability. Some people should try it.
I could go on and on and on and on about this. I can't stand it, it drives me beyond bonkers. Seriously. But enough ranting for now. (its been a while since my last "philosophical rant", hope you enjoyed)
Have a great weekend y'all
Cheers
Anywho, so I am so sick and tired of this North American Society. Seriously. Like WTF is wrong with a society when it teaches everyone that they are not responsible for themselves, that there is always someone else to blame at the very least, and that after taking absolutely no accountability for our decisions and actions that we are allowed to bitch and moan profusely about the "unfairness" of our condition. Like, Seriously? (And let me just say that this isn't even CLOSE to my only problem with this society, just happens to be the thing grinding my gears at the moment).
Sorry, I'm not explicitly trying to be offensive, but if I offend you then maybe you are one of these people who needs to stop being a pseudo victim and start being empowered.
But yeah, for example, fat people. If you are fat and happy, more power to you. Seriously. It's not the best thing for your health, but if you can live your life and be happy with yourself, I ain't mad at ya. But what I can't stand are these frickin people who cover everything they eat in mayo, "don't eat alot" but forget to count half of their impromptu snacking sessions, eat things that are like 100 calories per piece (chicken wings, in case anyone didn't know, are crazy crazy calories), drown themselves in fruit juices, go out for drinks every weekend, 2L bottle of pop every week, and never work out except for their one "workout" of about 15 minutes where they do some half-asses crunches, and yet have the nerve to be upset and confused as to why that they are fat.
And they aren't the worst. Seriously, they're just irritating. It's the ones like that dumb ass in the US who sued McDonald's for making her kid fat. Like, seriously? Take some frigging accountability people. Put the shitty food down and make a healthy decision. Instead of watching the Biggest Loser TV show, do the Biggest Loser workout. Don't cry that you can never find any of the pretty stuff in your size and buy yourself a target outfit in a size that the store actually carries and then moderate what you eat and exercise til you fit into it. Don't want to do any of this? Wanna glower at the skinny ones and say "she's so lucky she's thin, why aren't my genetics like hers, i hate her"? Grow the $%#@ up people. Seriously. Put up or shut up.
And it's not just with fat people that you come into contact with these whiny individuals. Like I said, it seems as though North America is breeding this new helpless generation on purpose. And they're like this about everything. I use the weight thing only because it's the easiest example to illustrate my point. Like, seriously, I gained a lot of weight in 2004 very quickly (I went from 145ish to 210 pounds). I was ballooning way too quickly, so I figured it out and started monitoring my portion sizes (I don't diet, as anyone who knows me knows...I like tasty food, and i like eating what I want when I want).
I stopped ballooning, didn't lose anything. Did some mild working out, lost a bit, not much. I knew I wasn't willing to work for it though so I just shut my mouth about it. It was nobody's fault but my own, so how dare I bother them with it. I lost a lot of weight dramatically when I was working at Ricki's last summer (6 dress sizes, 6 weeks...I know, I have no idea how it happened...I went from 185-190 to 155...LOVE it!!). But yeah, I was still monitoring portion control, and I put my all in anything I do, plus I started being more regularly active, walking more places than driving if possible etc.
The point is that even a year later, not working there, having not worked out at all until maybe a couple months ago (until ZUMBA blessed my life :-D) and managed not to get huge. Why? Because I take accountability for myself, what I eat and drink and my level of activity. I don't wanna get fat, gotta do what I need to do. Much like I want a super sexy bikini bod by my birthday (August 2) instead of hating the "genetically gifted" I have put myself on a 4-5 day a week hardcore workout program to get to my goal. Because I take accountability. Some people should try it.
I could go on and on and on and on about this. I can't stand it, it drives me beyond bonkers. Seriously. But enough ranting for now. (its been a while since my last "philosophical rant", hope you enjoyed)
Have a great weekend y'all
Cheers
Thursday, June 4, 2009
LOL!!!
I swear, on such a good track and then WHAM!! Life hits me, and suddenly its been over a month since I've posted anything...even a measly You Tube video!! I know, so sad! The whole Naked With Socks On blog had me all hyped up, and then as usual I lost track. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that I noticed a friend of mine had started a blog today, I probably still wouldn't have posted! :-p...I swear though, this time (unlike all the other times I claim such a thing) it is SO not my fault!! :-p
Since we all know I am a shameless promoter of others, I would like to take the time to offer you a link to my friend, current inspiration for finally posting again, Eric's blog The Life & Times. He's new so only has a few posts up, and I apologize if I am wrong here Eric, but from what I have seen so far (and from what I know of you) this blog will be more political-based commentary, giving your personal views on politically driven issues (if I am wrong please correct me and I will retract and correct in my next blog ;-)).
For those of you who know me, politics is SOO not my thing, although I do have opinions about...ummm...stuff. Probably politic-stuff too, although if its phrased in political terms I am most likely to turn my brain off after word two. Not intentionally, mind you...not sure what it is, or when it started happening. Anywho, those of you who know me also know I am the kind of person who will follow my friends blog anyway and try my best to put an entertaining spin to it in my mind....
You know whats interesting about this train of thought? Is, that to have a conversation with, say Eric, who will have the exact same viewpoints and a similar way of delivering those viewpoints whether in written or in verbal form, I can be entirely enraptured in the conversation, having a "political debate" with an actual position I am supporting with actual real-life facts. Hmmm...maybe its because I am able while in conversation to temper the tone slightly so that it becomes less like a news report and more like a lively discussion. Hmmmmmmm...I am going to have to think this one out a bit. I keep having these random tidbits of thought cross my mind and I have to sit down and make sense of it all in my head...sigh...for another post then.
Anyway, life is good, except I've been dying from the flu. I started working at an Insurance company as a summer student. I know what you're thinking, I'm just a mail/filing clerk..but no, I'm part of sales and service administration and I have a lot of responsibility. Actually, I am doing really well (so it seems) and although they don't normally rehire summer students, if your boss really likes you they can extend your contract and make you part time during the winter and full time in the summers. Hopefully that will be me. The jobs pretty good, my team is really nice, and the pays really good for a casual summer job.
Fingers crossed.
Ok, I feel I have expunged my guilt of not blogging for a while. I will try and keep it up, but, as usually, you just never know with me ;-)
Cheers
Since we all know I am a shameless promoter of others, I would like to take the time to offer you a link to my friend, current inspiration for finally posting again, Eric's blog The Life & Times. He's new so only has a few posts up, and I apologize if I am wrong here Eric, but from what I have seen so far (and from what I know of you) this blog will be more political-based commentary, giving your personal views on politically driven issues (if I am wrong please correct me and I will retract and correct in my next blog ;-)).
For those of you who know me, politics is SOO not my thing, although I do have opinions about...ummm...stuff. Probably politic-stuff too, although if its phrased in political terms I am most likely to turn my brain off after word two. Not intentionally, mind you...not sure what it is, or when it started happening. Anywho, those of you who know me also know I am the kind of person who will follow my friends blog anyway and try my best to put an entertaining spin to it in my mind....
You know whats interesting about this train of thought? Is, that to have a conversation with, say Eric, who will have the exact same viewpoints and a similar way of delivering those viewpoints whether in written or in verbal form, I can be entirely enraptured in the conversation, having a "political debate" with an actual position I am supporting with actual real-life facts. Hmmm...maybe its because I am able while in conversation to temper the tone slightly so that it becomes less like a news report and more like a lively discussion. Hmmmmmmm...I am going to have to think this one out a bit. I keep having these random tidbits of thought cross my mind and I have to sit down and make sense of it all in my head...sigh...for another post then.
Anyway, life is good, except I've been dying from the flu. I started working at an Insurance company as a summer student. I know what you're thinking, I'm just a mail/filing clerk..but no, I'm part of sales and service administration and I have a lot of responsibility. Actually, I am doing really well (so it seems) and although they don't normally rehire summer students, if your boss really likes you they can extend your contract and make you part time during the winter and full time in the summers. Hopefully that will be me. The jobs pretty good, my team is really nice, and the pays really good for a casual summer job.
Fingers crossed.
Ok, I feel I have expunged my guilt of not blogging for a while. I will try and keep it up, but, as usually, you just never know with me ;-)
Cheers
Monday, April 27, 2009
Karaoke...and NOT being a doormat (or Mattress)
So, this weekend wasn't the most exciting, definitely not the least. But one thing I determined is that sometimes enjoyment can come in the smallest of packages. I mean, I love karaoke, love Shooters, love the company at Shooters (otherwise why would I ever return? :-p) so of course I would love karaoke at Shooters. But, I don't know, something about the vibe there this past Saturday was so..refreshing. I had such a blast, but nothing really exciting happened. I guess every once in a while you just luck out and all the cards fall perfectly in to place, and you get 4 aces when you're playing with a bunch of pros. (lol, on second thought not sure if that really applies perfectly, but oh well. You get the point :-p)
So one of the conversations I had that day was with a 19 year old young woman. Within this conversation she told me that she was having an issue with men, because she is selective, and she won't "give it up" easily. But she finds that whenever she does, he inevitably leaves her. I don't know. As an individual I never really experienced the whole boy angst, where I was worried that maybe one would leave me if I give up too much/too little, etc etc. I always had the opinion that A) Just because I am dating you doesn't mean I have some obligation to go X amount of bases with you, B) Anyone with that opinion is a sleazebag and isn't worth my time, and C)That if the "only way" I can get you to be faithful/open/fall in love/commit (insert pretty much anything desirable, really) is by rounding X amount of bases with you, then clearly you have no real desire to do those things anyway and probably won't even if I do give you what you want.
She somewhat understood these concepts, of course everyone kind of does, although for some reason I find that most women I have encountered have fallen into these reasoning traps on more than one occasion (I thought about it, by the way. I fell into said traps twice in my life, before I turned 16, and I learned nice and fast that I don't wanna but some dumb chick whom everyone thinks is a slut because I have mistakenly rounded too many bases too many times with too many people all to please a boy who couldn't care less about my virtue--or his own. And God forbid I have to sit there and give myself excuses about why my "count" is so high, and I can't come up with even half of that number whom I didn't regret).
I think one thing she didn't understand was my internal reasoning methods for why I am able to avoid these things. Or, rather, not that she didn't understand as much as she seemed to be hearing a new concept. What I told her, quite simply, was that if you wanted to "give it up" to a man (whether what you're giving is 1st base or a home run) it should only be based on your own personal desires and feelings, entirely independent of his. As in, for example, if you end up doing the do with someone, it should be because you truly want to because you desire the do, because you are attracted enough to him that you have been desiring the do, and because whether he disappears from your life or not shortly thereafter you won't regret it because you didn't do it for him, you did it for yourself and your own selfish reasons.
Now this philosophy has been working very well for me. The guys who are interested in me only for my body, I discard if the feeling isn't mutual. The guys who whisper pretty little things, or try in any way to coerce me into anything on any level, are again thrown away (why would I allow him to even contemplate the idea that he had had any influence on whether I had partaken in anything sexually whatsoever?? Ummm...no). The rest, I filter somewhat like this: if I am interested in you on level A then you will remain on level A until I decide otherwise. If you have a problem with that, there is the door. I am not going to sleep with you just because you "really care about me". Lots of people do, and quite frankly I don't have daddy issues...I know I don't have to be your personal doormat to attain someone's love somewhere. If you have an issue with this, again, there is the door.
And quite frankly, if you are such a sex addict that you can't keep it in your pants if I won't "give it up" then you probably won't keep it in your pants even if I do. If this thought even crosses my mind, I won't give you the option of staying or leaving, cause I'll be long gone. I'm not slutty and I'm not a cheater, and I don't particularly find the idea appetizing of being with someone who is (actually the idea makes me throw up in my mouth a little, but yeah). That being said, if I am really feeling you and I feel like sharing anything with you, and I have determined you're decent enough folk for me to do such a thing, then I will (don't get me wrong I don't take anything sexually lightly...I am very selective, always have been, thanks to my mother who has always convinced me that I was a gift and any man who didn't realize that didn't deserve to be within 50 feet of me...and she lived that life too, and her example showed me that she wasn't full of it..thanks Mom :-D...its about empowerment...being loose doesn't empower you, it just shows men that they should treat us like mattresses if we so fully want to act like them).
I mean, am I so abnormal? Is it weird that I have such a philosophy? I don't know man, this world is becoming highly oversexed. I am so worried about what my little cousins have done, what my little sister may or may not get herself into (although shes a smart cookie so she'll probably follow after big sis :-D) and what is in store for my baby cousins, who haven't even left grade school yet. *sigh*
lol...I didn't even realize how much I wrote. I could still write for another 20 minutes on this topic. However, I will restrain myself. Maybe I should call Mondays rant-days. Anyway, I will definitely pick up on this topic in a later post. For now
Happy Monday
Cheers
So one of the conversations I had that day was with a 19 year old young woman. Within this conversation she told me that she was having an issue with men, because she is selective, and she won't "give it up" easily. But she finds that whenever she does, he inevitably leaves her. I don't know. As an individual I never really experienced the whole boy angst, where I was worried that maybe one would leave me if I give up too much/too little, etc etc. I always had the opinion that A) Just because I am dating you doesn't mean I have some obligation to go X amount of bases with you, B) Anyone with that opinion is a sleazebag and isn't worth my time, and C)That if the "only way" I can get you to be faithful/open/fall in love/commit (insert pretty much anything desirable, really) is by rounding X amount of bases with you, then clearly you have no real desire to do those things anyway and probably won't even if I do give you what you want.
She somewhat understood these concepts, of course everyone kind of does, although for some reason I find that most women I have encountered have fallen into these reasoning traps on more than one occasion (I thought about it, by the way. I fell into said traps twice in my life, before I turned 16, and I learned nice and fast that I don't wanna but some dumb chick whom everyone thinks is a slut because I have mistakenly rounded too many bases too many times with too many people all to please a boy who couldn't care less about my virtue--or his own. And God forbid I have to sit there and give myself excuses about why my "count" is so high, and I can't come up with even half of that number whom I didn't regret).
I think one thing she didn't understand was my internal reasoning methods for why I am able to avoid these things. Or, rather, not that she didn't understand as much as she seemed to be hearing a new concept. What I told her, quite simply, was that if you wanted to "give it up" to a man (whether what you're giving is 1st base or a home run) it should only be based on your own personal desires and feelings, entirely independent of his. As in, for example, if you end up doing the do with someone, it should be because you truly want to because you desire the do, because you are attracted enough to him that you have been desiring the do, and because whether he disappears from your life or not shortly thereafter you won't regret it because you didn't do it for him, you did it for yourself and your own selfish reasons.
Now this philosophy has been working very well for me. The guys who are interested in me only for my body, I discard if the feeling isn't mutual. The guys who whisper pretty little things, or try in any way to coerce me into anything on any level, are again thrown away (why would I allow him to even contemplate the idea that he had had any influence on whether I had partaken in anything sexually whatsoever?? Ummm...no). The rest, I filter somewhat like this: if I am interested in you on level A then you will remain on level A until I decide otherwise. If you have a problem with that, there is the door. I am not going to sleep with you just because you "really care about me". Lots of people do, and quite frankly I don't have daddy issues...I know I don't have to be your personal doormat to attain someone's love somewhere. If you have an issue with this, again, there is the door.
And quite frankly, if you are such a sex addict that you can't keep it in your pants if I won't "give it up" then you probably won't keep it in your pants even if I do. If this thought even crosses my mind, I won't give you the option of staying or leaving, cause I'll be long gone. I'm not slutty and I'm not a cheater, and I don't particularly find the idea appetizing of being with someone who is (actually the idea makes me throw up in my mouth a little, but yeah). That being said, if I am really feeling you and I feel like sharing anything with you, and I have determined you're decent enough folk for me to do such a thing, then I will (don't get me wrong I don't take anything sexually lightly...I am very selective, always have been, thanks to my mother who has always convinced me that I was a gift and any man who didn't realize that didn't deserve to be within 50 feet of me...and she lived that life too, and her example showed me that she wasn't full of it..thanks Mom :-D...its about empowerment...being loose doesn't empower you, it just shows men that they should treat us like mattresses if we so fully want to act like them).
I mean, am I so abnormal? Is it weird that I have such a philosophy? I don't know man, this world is becoming highly oversexed. I am so worried about what my little cousins have done, what my little sister may or may not get herself into (although shes a smart cookie so she'll probably follow after big sis :-D) and what is in store for my baby cousins, who haven't even left grade school yet. *sigh*
lol...I didn't even realize how much I wrote. I could still write for another 20 minutes on this topic. However, I will restrain myself. Maybe I should call Mondays rant-days. Anyway, I will definitely pick up on this topic in a later post. For now
Happy Monday
Cheers
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Can't Give Up Now
Seriously, this is currently my anthem. Listen to the lyrics. Every time I hear it I get chills. Inspirational. Take what you will from it.
Here are the lyrics, in case you got so caught up in the feelings of the song that you just couldn't focus :-p
"Can't Give Up Now"
There will be mountains that I will have to climb
And there will be battles that I will have to fight
But victory or defeat, it's up to me to decide
But how can I expect to win If I never try.
I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me
Never said there wouldn't be trials
Never said I would't fall
Never said that everything would go the way I want it to go
But when my back is against the wall
And i feel all hope is gone,
I'll just lift my head up to the sky
And say help me to be strong
I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me
[Hook:]
No you didn't bring me out here to leave me lonely
Even when I can't see clearly
I know that you are with me(so I can't)
I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me
Hope you were as touched and inspired as I was.
Cheers
Here are the lyrics, in case you got so caught up in the feelings of the song that you just couldn't focus :-p
"Can't Give Up Now"
There will be mountains that I will have to climb
And there will be battles that I will have to fight
But victory or defeat, it's up to me to decide
But how can I expect to win If I never try.
I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me
Never said there wouldn't be trials
Never said I would't fall
Never said that everything would go the way I want it to go
But when my back is against the wall
And i feel all hope is gone,
I'll just lift my head up to the sky
And say help me to be strong
I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me
[Hook:]
No you didn't bring me out here to leave me lonely
Even when I can't see clearly
I know that you are with me(so I can't)
I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me
Hope you were as touched and inspired as I was.
Cheers
Saturday, April 25, 2009
The Rain
Despite the title I actually can stand the rain. Sometimes I find it to be so comforting, lulling me to sleep, much like holding a sleeping baby calms and comforts my heart so that I find my eyes struggling to stay open. Sometimes the rain makes me feel so invigorated, so free and carefree that I feel like running out of my house and dancing in the rain (clothing optional). Sometimes I wanna stand in the rain, staring up at the gray clouds and just sing my heart out. I don't know, I find the rain to be inspiring. Maybe because it puts my mind so at rest.
Anyway, the way this song vibes, its sweet sultry-ness is kinda exactly how the rain makes me feel. Have a listen and see how it makes you feel.
I might post a bit more later, but for now my friends, I'm off to be lulled by the rain once again.
Cheers
Anyway, the way this song vibes, its sweet sultry-ness is kinda exactly how the rain makes me feel. Have a listen and see how it makes you feel.
I might post a bit more later, but for now my friends, I'm off to be lulled by the rain once again.
Cheers
Friday, April 24, 2009
Just randomness
So a few posts ago I was telling you about my friend Wyze Wonda and how he has a song playing live to air from Sugar Daddy's at z103.5, but that it wasn't the song I had posted. At the end of this post I have posted that song. Give it a listen, should get you vibing...me and my friend were listening to it last night (I shamelessly promote this song...you have no idea how much I love it. You will too, just try it out).
So in the spirit of randomness I have decided to create a new hobby for myself. I haven't determined exactly what it will be as of yet but there's no stopping me. I decided that whatever it is, it must be something totally different from anything I've done before. Something that really forces me to expand my horizons and my interests. I want it to be something that will give me new perspectives. I don't know, I know that sounds a bit enterprising, but right now I'm determined. Of course, we all know how well I commit to random ideas so we'll see how it goes. I'll let you know if I come up with anything.
Continuing in my randomness, I am also determined to pick up doing some of my old hobbies. Especially writing, singing, and playing my instruments. I miss the creative energies flowing through my mind and soul. I think maybe that has something to do with recently seeing Wyze perform. Not so much the performance, as the look on his face during the performance, and for the rest of the night otherwise. He looked so fresh scrubbed and reborn. I remember when I used to get that feeling, and it was back when I was embracing my talents and my creative juices. So I'm gonna give it a go. Note: this plan most likely will pan out better than plan A, but for now I am hoping I manage both..fingers crossed.
So I'm waiting for the boy to pull himself out of his lazy stupor and come break my wall of boredom. Hasn't happened as of yet, although it was said earlier to be planned to happen by 6...which at this moment is 2 hours ago. I am debating calling, but until my food is done cooking I suppose there's no rush. At least my house is full of the delicious aroma of west indian food (I'm making beef). I know overall that this change of topic is random, but as I've said there is definitely a spirit of randomness surging within me right now. Maybe its the boredom. Maybe not. Meh.
So I'm gonna take a class of Zimba on Monday. I know right, wtf is Zimba? Well, Aliya proposed I try it out with her and since I don't really have anything better to do I figured why not? Apparently its a dance class that mixes a whole bunch of styles together...ummm...hip hop, latin...can't remember what else...I guess it wasn't "a whole bunch"..or maybe I don't remember. Whatever, apparently its supposed to be a good workout. I'll find out Monday, I suppose. And I'll let you all know how it goes.
Ahhh...random...not even connectedly random. Meh. At least I have been dedicated and except for yesterday have managed to make at least a post a day...yayyyy me!! Maybe I'll make another post later to cover for yesterday. Well, technically I have a video attached to this post, which technically could be its own separate post. Does that count? *sigh* geez not even a week and I'm already trying to cut corners...lol
Enjoy the video...the songs phenomenal!!
See, it was fricken' amazing wasn't it?
Cheers!
So in the spirit of randomness I have decided to create a new hobby for myself. I haven't determined exactly what it will be as of yet but there's no stopping me. I decided that whatever it is, it must be something totally different from anything I've done before. Something that really forces me to expand my horizons and my interests. I want it to be something that will give me new perspectives. I don't know, I know that sounds a bit enterprising, but right now I'm determined. Of course, we all know how well I commit to random ideas so we'll see how it goes. I'll let you know if I come up with anything.
Continuing in my randomness, I am also determined to pick up doing some of my old hobbies. Especially writing, singing, and playing my instruments. I miss the creative energies flowing through my mind and soul. I think maybe that has something to do with recently seeing Wyze perform. Not so much the performance, as the look on his face during the performance, and for the rest of the night otherwise. He looked so fresh scrubbed and reborn. I remember when I used to get that feeling, and it was back when I was embracing my talents and my creative juices. So I'm gonna give it a go. Note: this plan most likely will pan out better than plan A, but for now I am hoping I manage both..fingers crossed.
So I'm waiting for the boy to pull himself out of his lazy stupor and come break my wall of boredom. Hasn't happened as of yet, although it was said earlier to be planned to happen by 6...which at this moment is 2 hours ago. I am debating calling, but until my food is done cooking I suppose there's no rush. At least my house is full of the delicious aroma of west indian food (I'm making beef). I know overall that this change of topic is random, but as I've said there is definitely a spirit of randomness surging within me right now. Maybe its the boredom. Maybe not. Meh.
So I'm gonna take a class of Zimba on Monday. I know right, wtf is Zimba? Well, Aliya proposed I try it out with her and since I don't really have anything better to do I figured why not? Apparently its a dance class that mixes a whole bunch of styles together...ummm...hip hop, latin...can't remember what else...I guess it wasn't "a whole bunch"..or maybe I don't remember. Whatever, apparently its supposed to be a good workout. I'll find out Monday, I suppose. And I'll let you all know how it goes.
Ahhh...random...not even connectedly random. Meh. At least I have been dedicated and except for yesterday have managed to make at least a post a day...yayyyy me!! Maybe I'll make another post later to cover for yesterday. Well, technically I have a video attached to this post, which technically could be its own separate post. Does that count? *sigh* geez not even a week and I'm already trying to cut corners...lol
Enjoy the video...the songs phenomenal!!
See, it was fricken' amazing wasn't it?
Cheers!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Rename it?
So lately I have been thinking quite a bit about my blog name...maybe I should change it. I mean, I think it was pretty appropriate when i had first started this blogging thing, as I had kinda more of an idea of presenting the worlds events in the context of my own personal philosophy. Ok, not the worlds events. Like, not really stuff that would ever be covered on the news. Ever. Unless for some reason it actually had something to do with my personal life.
Ok, whatever. I just spent like 10 minutes staring at the screen trying to determine how to further explain myself, since I don't think I have 100% made that concept as clear as I could. But it really doesn't matter, I've determined, as thats not really the point. The point is that (I almost forgot the point..in fact shamefully I had to go back and read from the beginning to tip myself off) when I first started this blog concept I had had a totally different vision of what it would be versus what it ended up being.
This is the point in the post where I am going to admit that that isn't my only reason for maybe considering changing the name. Ok, and I really am hanging my head in shame, as we've already discussed I am the most easily influenced person sometimes. I don't even know how it happens. I mean, seriously, I know the power of suggestion is crazy, but nothing has to be suggested to me. My subconscious makes suggestions, and for some reason I am powerless to fight against those suggestions. At all. Whatsoever.
Ok, ok, so I admit, much like it was Rob starting up a blog that piqued my curiosity and finally wrestled me in to this blogging thing it was also Rob changing his blog's name that also had me thinking of changing mine. His concept was pretty much that he's grown and changed since beginning his blog, much as his reflections have too and so therefore he felt it was only natural that the name of his blog change as well. And that made a lot of sense to me. And then there's the new blog I've been reading lately (although haven't quite grown the cahonas..is that how you spell it?..to comment on yet) called Naked With Socks On.(url is http://www.nakedwithsockson.com in case you are curious)
Its awesome, you should check it out. But yeah, I came across this blog because of an add he sent out on black planet. And so I decided to check out his "bp" page to see what he had to say about it. And there he had this little explanation about the title of his blog, what it meant. And combined with the Rob thing not that long ago, I have been seriously contemplating this change.
I must take just a moment to say though that for once this wasn't entirely influenced by current happenings. If you remember, I had been considering changing my blogs name to tales of an insomniac...if you didn't read it, you can now, and to make it easy on ya I'll even give you a short cut. Just click here. It has been something I have thought about. Seriously. I swear...read it, you'll see..and that was forever ago. So there. (and yes I did stick my tongue out at you!!).
I am definitely going to think about this, although I won't make any moves towards this change without first being hit by a strike of inspiration as to what the new one should be. I think I'm gonna go read through some more NWSO while I'm waiting for ANTM (for those of you who live under a rock in a cave on Mars, with your eyes shut and your fingers in your ears--thanks for the saying Desi, probably one of the greatest things EVER!!---ANTM stands for America's Next Top Model...and if you can't, from this post, determine what NWSO stands for you're beyond help)
Anywho, enough of my blabbering
Cheers
Ok, whatever. I just spent like 10 minutes staring at the screen trying to determine how to further explain myself, since I don't think I have 100% made that concept as clear as I could. But it really doesn't matter, I've determined, as thats not really the point. The point is that (I almost forgot the point..in fact shamefully I had to go back and read from the beginning to tip myself off) when I first started this blog concept I had had a totally different vision of what it would be versus what it ended up being.
This is the point in the post where I am going to admit that that isn't my only reason for maybe considering changing the name. Ok, and I really am hanging my head in shame, as we've already discussed I am the most easily influenced person sometimes. I don't even know how it happens. I mean, seriously, I know the power of suggestion is crazy, but nothing has to be suggested to me. My subconscious makes suggestions, and for some reason I am powerless to fight against those suggestions. At all. Whatsoever.
Ok, ok, so I admit, much like it was Rob starting up a blog that piqued my curiosity and finally wrestled me in to this blogging thing it was also Rob changing his blog's name that also had me thinking of changing mine. His concept was pretty much that he's grown and changed since beginning his blog, much as his reflections have too and so therefore he felt it was only natural that the name of his blog change as well. And that made a lot of sense to me. And then there's the new blog I've been reading lately (although haven't quite grown the cahonas..is that how you spell it?..to comment on yet) called Naked With Socks On.(url is http://www.nakedwithsockson.com in case you are curious)
Its awesome, you should check it out. But yeah, I came across this blog because of an add he sent out on black planet. And so I decided to check out his "bp" page to see what he had to say about it. And there he had this little explanation about the title of his blog, what it meant. And combined with the Rob thing not that long ago, I have been seriously contemplating this change.
I must take just a moment to say though that for once this wasn't entirely influenced by current happenings. If you remember, I had been considering changing my blogs name to tales of an insomniac...if you didn't read it, you can now, and to make it easy on ya I'll even give you a short cut. Just click here. It has been something I have thought about. Seriously. I swear...read it, you'll see..and that was forever ago. So there. (and yes I did stick my tongue out at you!!).
I am definitely going to think about this, although I won't make any moves towards this change without first being hit by a strike of inspiration as to what the new one should be. I think I'm gonna go read through some more NWSO while I'm waiting for ANTM (for those of you who live under a rock in a cave on Mars, with your eyes shut and your fingers in your ears--thanks for the saying Desi, probably one of the greatest things EVER!!---ANTM stands for America's Next Top Model...and if you can't, from this post, determine what NWSO stands for you're beyond help)
Anywho, enough of my blabbering
Cheers
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
De willekeurige post over niets, werkelijk, maar minstens het raadsel zal daarna pret zijn
In case you were wondering what that means, you can always find out the same way that I found out how to say it. You see, I found out today my baby sister has a blog (awwwwwwww!!! SOOOOO cute, she already has like 3 post!!!). Sorry, just had to say it. Anywho, so at the top of her blog there's some random german words. Not having been aware that my sister knew any language other than English and French (yayy Immersion) I asked her if she was taking German in school.
In the infuriating way that only lovers in a fight, or teenagers in general, do she said 'nope'. That was it...like, really? (sorry, but this girl from Shooters said that in a story once and it totally touched my heart...I thought it was the awesomest response to someone doing or saying something you find ridiculous...its like asking 'are you being serious, cause I can't imagine that you are given how ridiculous this seems to me'. Sorry, what is that? like, my second diversion in 3 sentences? Sorry, I'll try to stay focused!! :-p).
Anyway, so her ridiculous answer with no follow up caused me to ask another tedious question..."So how did you find out then?" Which was clearly the question to begin with, implied from the initial question...GEEZ!! Anywho, then she told me that she got it from translator.com. I was like, oh neat, I've never heard of it. Maybe I'll blog about it!! I was really excited about the concept. Sadly, I know.
So happily I punched translator.com into my browser address bar, preparing for a fun filled afternoon of translating random sentences into some other language, sending them to my friends via msn and then laughing hysterically at their confusion and frustration when I continue to "speak" in that language to answer their questions. Kinda like the taco bell commercial where the lady is speaking in spanish and the dude is like 'why are you speaking in spanish' and she answers, still in spanish 'I don't know...I don't speak spanish!' looking all concerned. Ahhh...I like that commercial. Maybe I'll post it.
Anyway, so imagine my disappointment when it brought me to one of those fake websites that just links you to another google search of whatever it is you are looking for. So I ask her if she is SURE that is the website. Not once, but thrice. Of course, what did she say..."I'm positive" in that confident tone of voice that teenagers whom don't know that they are caught in a lie use.
So when I confront her, shes like.."lol, no use google, put in translator.com and then click on the first hit". So, of course, I try this out, it works like a charm, I click on the first hit, and of course its a free translator. So I look at the address...www.free-translator.com. So I told her what the address was, and shes like "I don't know, i found it on google".
Which begs the question, of course, of why in THE WORLD didn't she JUST SAY THAT?!??!?!?!??! Grrrr...Teenagers...lol!! Anywho, can you figure out what language this is? And therefore what this says? Happy puzzling y'all
See baby girl, told ya I would blog about it! ;-)
Cheers
In the infuriating way that only lovers in a fight, or teenagers in general, do she said 'nope'. That was it...like, really? (sorry, but this girl from Shooters said that in a story once and it totally touched my heart...I thought it was the awesomest response to someone doing or saying something you find ridiculous...its like asking 'are you being serious, cause I can't imagine that you are given how ridiculous this seems to me'. Sorry, what is that? like, my second diversion in 3 sentences? Sorry, I'll try to stay focused!! :-p).
Anyway, so her ridiculous answer with no follow up caused me to ask another tedious question..."So how did you find out then?" Which was clearly the question to begin with, implied from the initial question...GEEZ!! Anywho, then she told me that she got it from translator.com. I was like, oh neat, I've never heard of it. Maybe I'll blog about it!! I was really excited about the concept. Sadly, I know.
So happily I punched translator.com into my browser address bar, preparing for a fun filled afternoon of translating random sentences into some other language, sending them to my friends via msn and then laughing hysterically at their confusion and frustration when I continue to "speak" in that language to answer their questions. Kinda like the taco bell commercial where the lady is speaking in spanish and the dude is like 'why are you speaking in spanish' and she answers, still in spanish 'I don't know...I don't speak spanish!' looking all concerned. Ahhh...I like that commercial. Maybe I'll post it.
Anyway, so imagine my disappointment when it brought me to one of those fake websites that just links you to another google search of whatever it is you are looking for. So I ask her if she is SURE that is the website. Not once, but thrice. Of course, what did she say..."I'm positive" in that confident tone of voice that teenagers whom don't know that they are caught in a lie use.
So when I confront her, shes like.."lol, no use google, put in translator.com and then click on the first hit". So, of course, I try this out, it works like a charm, I click on the first hit, and of course its a free translator. So I look at the address...www.free-translator.com. So I told her what the address was, and shes like "I don't know, i found it on google".
Which begs the question, of course, of why in THE WORLD didn't she JUST SAY THAT?!??!?!?!??! Grrrr...Teenagers...lol!! Anywho, can you figure out what language this is? And therefore what this says? Happy puzzling y'all
See baby girl, told ya I would blog about it! ;-)
Cheers
Sunday, April 19, 2009
I wish somebody would write me a song....
So my friend wrote a song, dedicated to his girl. At the end of this brief post I have embedded it. I must say I absolutely love the song. In fact I love most of his songs. He's phenomenal and I hope he blows up largely. They play his song every week on Thursdays live to air from Sugar Daddy's on z103.5 (not the song embedded here, another one). But yeah, not trying to be an advertisement for Wyze Wonda or anything, but felt I should give my two cents on him.
Anyway, my whole point is, I wish somebody would write me a song like that. Or any song. I'm watching a show called Taking the Stage right now and on this show this girls male best friend performed one of his songs for her, it was about being in love with her and not being able to say it cause the words never come out right. I wish somebodies heart was so full, bleeding with love that they felt they had no choice but to make it into a work of art.
Honestly, yes I would prefer a song, but a poem, spoken word piece...something. Something deep and passionate. Even a letter nowadays would suffice. I can't even remember the last time I have been given a card by a significant other that even had a personal message written in it. I mean a real one, not just a line saying, 'I love you, you mean the world to me..xoxoxo'. Know what I mean?
Not that I would expect such things once a week or anything. Just like I don't expect gifts or flowers every day. But every once in a while its nice to, say, get flowers just because (and not just on valentines or anniversaries) they love you. To know that somebody was willing to take the time and effort out of their life to make an extra special effort to make sure you feel extra special, because they think you are extra special.
Maybe thats really what I want then...to be that extra special, precious, and irreplaceable to someone, so much so that they exude it from their pores whenever they are around me, and even when they are not they can't help but say, sit and write a song about me, agonize for days, or weeks even just to get that perfect word, perfect melody, perfect message. *sigh*
Ok, enough of my lamentations for one day :-p Here's the song...give it a listen, seriously, you'll love it!!
See, told ya you'd love it!!!
Anywho,
Cheers
Anyway, my whole point is, I wish somebody would write me a song like that. Or any song. I'm watching a show called Taking the Stage right now and on this show this girls male best friend performed one of his songs for her, it was about being in love with her and not being able to say it cause the words never come out right. I wish somebodies heart was so full, bleeding with love that they felt they had no choice but to make it into a work of art.
Honestly, yes I would prefer a song, but a poem, spoken word piece...something. Something deep and passionate. Even a letter nowadays would suffice. I can't even remember the last time I have been given a card by a significant other that even had a personal message written in it. I mean a real one, not just a line saying, 'I love you, you mean the world to me..xoxoxo'. Know what I mean?
Not that I would expect such things once a week or anything. Just like I don't expect gifts or flowers every day. But every once in a while its nice to, say, get flowers just because (and not just on valentines or anniversaries) they love you. To know that somebody was willing to take the time and effort out of their life to make an extra special effort to make sure you feel extra special, because they think you are extra special.
Maybe thats really what I want then...to be that extra special, precious, and irreplaceable to someone, so much so that they exude it from their pores whenever they are around me, and even when they are not they can't help but say, sit and write a song about me, agonize for days, or weeks even just to get that perfect word, perfect melody, perfect message. *sigh*
Ok, enough of my lamentations for one day :-p Here's the song...give it a listen, seriously, you'll love it!!
See, told ya you'd love it!!!
Anywho,
Cheers
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Good Friday
A time to reflect, if you haappen to be Christian, about the love of our God who sent his only son to die on a cross so that we may have eternal life. And how greatful we should be that now all we have to do ask for our sins to be forgiven and they will be, as opposed to killing 5 goats as an offering to God (per sin...I can't even IMAGINE how many goats I'd have to kill a day to purge all of my sins) and going through some priest for absolution.
Honestly, I am not a practicing religious person, however I do have my faith, and I believe in my religion very strongly. That being said I don't spend a whole lot of time even thinking about religion or God, or the concept of Jesus loving me, or whatever else, all that often. Honestly though, for some reason this Good Friday really touched me. But I don't think it was necissarily because of what the day was supposed to be. I think it is simply from being in church at all.
I think that maybe the emptiness that I have been feeling lately can be attributed to a lack of spirituality in my life. I felt so full, so satisfied while at church yesterday (sorry, in case you were wondering, I am Apostolic, and we are a 'holy ghost' church...for those of you who don't know what that is, think big, loud, happy, hand-clapping, feet stomping, out of tune or not singing kinda church :-p). It really made me feel that ultimate love, that love that no human being can give you, true, unconditional, all encompassing love.
I don't know. I'm thinking maybe its time for me to return to the concept of spiritualness. Nothing else in my life has given me such fulfillment, not on any real or long lasting basis. I don't know. Gotta think more about this really.
Anyway, thank you Jesus for dying for my sins.
Have a wonderful long weekend/easter y'all
Cheers
Honestly, I am not a practicing religious person, however I do have my faith, and I believe in my religion very strongly. That being said I don't spend a whole lot of time even thinking about religion or God, or the concept of Jesus loving me, or whatever else, all that often. Honestly though, for some reason this Good Friday really touched me. But I don't think it was necissarily because of what the day was supposed to be. I think it is simply from being in church at all.
I think that maybe the emptiness that I have been feeling lately can be attributed to a lack of spirituality in my life. I felt so full, so satisfied while at church yesterday (sorry, in case you were wondering, I am Apostolic, and we are a 'holy ghost' church...for those of you who don't know what that is, think big, loud, happy, hand-clapping, feet stomping, out of tune or not singing kinda church :-p). It really made me feel that ultimate love, that love that no human being can give you, true, unconditional, all encompassing love.
I don't know. I'm thinking maybe its time for me to return to the concept of spiritualness. Nothing else in my life has given me such fulfillment, not on any real or long lasting basis. I don't know. Gotta think more about this really.
Anyway, thank you Jesus for dying for my sins.
Have a wonderful long weekend/easter y'all
Cheers
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Not it exactly, but it will have to do
I have been trying desperately to find a song that conveys my current emotions. Not that I really want to get into it (unlike most girls I don't particularly like to purge my innermost problems by sharing them with anyone who will listen and cluck their tongue sympathetically) but this song, lyrically, doesn't quite cut it. I think maybe because I have a lot of complex feelings kinda smooshed into each other right now. But this song, the sound of it, indeed many of the lyrics as well, plus the general point of it, I think says enough. I still have my eyes open for that perfect song, although I don't think it exists. Maybe I should write a song about how I feel right now...maybe thats the definition of inspiration. Anyway, enjoy
Cheers
Cheers
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I love facebook/msn names sometimes
So yes, just a quick little note about this. Yes, I gave in to the cult brainwash and am on facebook. I am very ashamed of myself, but I refuse to invite people to be my friend or upload pictures of my special occasions (although you would never know with how much I've been tagged :-p) so I feel like I am still maintaining a bit of my intergrity.
Anywho, thats not really the point. The point is, I love msn/facebook names for several reasons. A) it is a very good way of keeping track of whats new and up to date in your friends/families lives without having to actively talk to them. B) because sometimes it allows you to entirely tell someone off or communicate how hurt you are or tell them how important they are to you etc. without, again, having to actively talk to them (and in case you are confronted by somebody you can always claim ignorance or call them paranoid if it was never an issue you wanted to confront in the first place). And finally C) because sometimes you get to read funny, clever, or just plain brilliant commentary, which you can subsequently steal and pawn off on others as your own :-p!!!!
Connected to point C) is the concept that sometimes somebody's name SOO speaks to you and your life and your personal situation at the time and you just weren't clever enough to come up with it yourself, or weren't insightful enough. I'm sure you wonder what exactly I am talking about. And yes, I am going to tell you. Ready? Ok, here it goes.
Well before I get to that I just wanted to talk about Obama for a moment---> LOL ok, ok, I'm kidding. Anyway, back to the point (have you noticed I like tangents and often fall into them?) one of my college professors, Heather, had a really good facebook name today, it was "Heather has had enough passive-aggressiveness for one day... We're supposed to be adults!!!". And I thought to myself "oh my, SO true!!". How often in our lives do we think that about others and situations? It seems like everyone is passive aggressive all the time, and we are consistently trying to decipher peoples actions and comments because of this. It can become quite exhausting.
I think my new goal for the next week is to see if, no matter what, under no circumstances can I breach this and be successful, I can avoid the use of passive aggressiveness as a tool against someone or to someone. To just be an adult, say what I mean and mean what I say, and be adult enough to confront what I think and feel head on and not be a punk about it. Seriously. I start today...I will let you know how my progress goes, but for now I am on a good track. Its been almost 2 minutes since I've made this resolve and still holding strong.
Ok, ok...I'm done boring you all for now, I guess all the blogginess has been building up and I had to expel some of it :-p
K, seriously, I'm done for the night. Have a great night...Good night and God-speed..hmmm...was that the saying? *shrugs* meh
Cheers
Anywho, thats not really the point. The point is, I love msn/facebook names for several reasons. A) it is a very good way of keeping track of whats new and up to date in your friends/families lives without having to actively talk to them. B) because sometimes it allows you to entirely tell someone off or communicate how hurt you are or tell them how important they are to you etc. without, again, having to actively talk to them (and in case you are confronted by somebody you can always claim ignorance or call them paranoid if it was never an issue you wanted to confront in the first place). And finally C) because sometimes you get to read funny, clever, or just plain brilliant commentary, which you can subsequently steal and pawn off on others as your own :-p!!!!
Connected to point C) is the concept that sometimes somebody's name SOO speaks to you and your life and your personal situation at the time and you just weren't clever enough to come up with it yourself, or weren't insightful enough. I'm sure you wonder what exactly I am talking about. And yes, I am going to tell you. Ready? Ok, here it goes.
Well before I get to that I just wanted to talk about Obama for a moment---> LOL ok, ok, I'm kidding. Anyway, back to the point (have you noticed I like tangents and often fall into them?) one of my college professors, Heather, had a really good facebook name today, it was "Heather has had enough passive-aggressiveness for one day... We're supposed to be adults!!!". And I thought to myself "oh my, SO true!!". How often in our lives do we think that about others and situations? It seems like everyone is passive aggressive all the time, and we are consistently trying to decipher peoples actions and comments because of this. It can become quite exhausting.
I think my new goal for the next week is to see if, no matter what, under no circumstances can I breach this and be successful, I can avoid the use of passive aggressiveness as a tool against someone or to someone. To just be an adult, say what I mean and mean what I say, and be adult enough to confront what I think and feel head on and not be a punk about it. Seriously. I start today...I will let you know how my progress goes, but for now I am on a good track. Its been almost 2 minutes since I've made this resolve and still holding strong.
Ok, ok...I'm done boring you all for now, I guess all the blogginess has been building up and I had to expel some of it :-p
K, seriously, I'm done for the night. Have a great night...Good night and God-speed..hmmm...was that the saying? *shrugs* meh
Cheers
Another Mish-Mash
Ok, I know its been a wee bit but I had legitimate reasons this time not too write. First off, I was legitimately busy with assignments and midterms all coming at the exact same time. And second, I was legitimately lazy during reading week because I needed some good ol' fashioned brain shut down time :-p.
So I know what you're thinking, which is that reading week is a time to help you get caught up with all your reading and upcoming assignments, and that perhaps I should have spent longer than 30 seconds doing SOMETHING for school. And truthishly (lol seriously, where does Family Guy come up with these things?)I do totally agree with you. I mean, I had a take home exam due the first day we got back to school, which I didn't even bother to glance at until Sunday.
So when I determined that the exam would be about 14 pages and relatively in depth, I decided 'bye bye buddy' and totally dropped that class. Death and Dying, after all of my struggles to get into you, even though I have thoroughly enjoyed you and have loved every moment of you, even though I will miss you to death *wink wink* I had to let you go to maintain my relatively lazy day on Sunday and prevent trials and tribulations and an all nighter, which totally would have ruined my last day of reading week. Maybe next time, see you next lifetime my dear *wink wink* (gee I'm good at that hah!)
So whatever, other than that life has been pretty good. I had an awesome Valentines Day by the way, and I've determined that I think rather than wanting to celebrate love, or totally ignore the day altogether I would like to do something like I did this year. I mean yes we did go out to dinner and yes he did get me roses (very big, pretty ones too!, but afterwards we went to see a show, which featured comedy, singers (I'll drop the names on you next time :-p), dancing, appetizers, and afterwards a dance (which was relatively craptacular, but still). Maybe you've heard of the event, its called Kama Sutra I believe. But yes, I will definitely share all the details with you in another post. Just trust that it was totally awesome.
So apparently my divorced friend is engaged again (I made that one sound pretty terrible, huh? :-p). Sorry, I know, randomness but I happen to be chatting with her right now and its the topic of the conversation.
OHH also, I have determined a few things about myself. Seriously. First is that I am a naturally gifted chef (ok, well it didn't come easy when I was younger but now I swear even making things the first time I am awesome at them..seriously!!) Second is that I still have that Je ne Sais Quoi about me that allows me to be very sociable and draw people towards me. And third is that I really, REALLY like to look good, and when I'm all dolled up and dressed up I am still a bombshell!!
So why is this important you ask? Because I am very seriously thinking about that whole lounge idea. I think I could pull it off with some real planning. And I think with my awesome cooking ability and alcohol savvy I could make a very desirable lounge. But also, I think that looking good, and being this naturally sociable I could find the right links, draw in the right crowd and make it the next it place!! Ok, I know, I know, you're all wondering where this is coming from right? I swear to the best of my recollection nothing is influencing me. But again, more about that later.
Phew, my fingers are exhausted, sorry for the long ramble, but I think we are up to date as of.....NOW! :-p
Cheers
So I know what you're thinking, which is that reading week is a time to help you get caught up with all your reading and upcoming assignments, and that perhaps I should have spent longer than 30 seconds doing SOMETHING for school. And truthishly (lol seriously, where does Family Guy come up with these things?)I do totally agree with you. I mean, I had a take home exam due the first day we got back to school, which I didn't even bother to glance at until Sunday.
So when I determined that the exam would be about 14 pages and relatively in depth, I decided 'bye bye buddy' and totally dropped that class. Death and Dying, after all of my struggles to get into you, even though I have thoroughly enjoyed you and have loved every moment of you, even though I will miss you to death *wink wink* I had to let you go to maintain my relatively lazy day on Sunday and prevent trials and tribulations and an all nighter, which totally would have ruined my last day of reading week. Maybe next time, see you next lifetime my dear *wink wink* (gee I'm good at that hah!)
So whatever, other than that life has been pretty good. I had an awesome Valentines Day by the way, and I've determined that I think rather than wanting to celebrate love, or totally ignore the day altogether I would like to do something like I did this year. I mean yes we did go out to dinner and yes he did get me roses (very big, pretty ones too!, but afterwards we went to see a show, which featured comedy, singers (I'll drop the names on you next time :-p), dancing, appetizers, and afterwards a dance (which was relatively craptacular, but still). Maybe you've heard of the event, its called Kama Sutra I believe. But yes, I will definitely share all the details with you in another post. Just trust that it was totally awesome.
So apparently my divorced friend is engaged again (I made that one sound pretty terrible, huh? :-p). Sorry, I know, randomness but I happen to be chatting with her right now and its the topic of the conversation.
OHH also, I have determined a few things about myself. Seriously. First is that I am a naturally gifted chef (ok, well it didn't come easy when I was younger but now I swear even making things the first time I am awesome at them..seriously!!) Second is that I still have that Je ne Sais Quoi about me that allows me to be very sociable and draw people towards me. And third is that I really, REALLY like to look good, and when I'm all dolled up and dressed up I am still a bombshell!!
So why is this important you ask? Because I am very seriously thinking about that whole lounge idea. I think I could pull it off with some real planning. And I think with my awesome cooking ability and alcohol savvy I could make a very desirable lounge. But also, I think that looking good, and being this naturally sociable I could find the right links, draw in the right crowd and make it the next it place!! Ok, I know, I know, you're all wondering where this is coming from right? I swear to the best of my recollection nothing is influencing me. But again, more about that later.
Phew, my fingers are exhausted, sorry for the long ramble, but I think we are up to date as of.....NOW! :-p
Cheers
Monday, February 2, 2009
Stupid, miserable Groundhog!!
I just knew it...I saw the forecast today, warmer than seasonal temperature and it would be beautiful and sunny. And I knew that somehow this day would turn around and damn us all!! I just knew it! And as I was on my way to school today I figured it out; Of Course!! The warm weather entices the groundhog to actually leave its warm little burrow. And the brighly beaming sun almost ensures the stupid thing sees its shadow and retreats into its dark-filled abode, warm and happy while leaving us to suffer another awful 6 weeks of winter!
Ok, so really I get it. Although there actually is a Groundhog (in case you were wondering exactly WHICH groundhog to curse, its name is Punxsutawney Phil) this whole superstition is nothing but that: silly superstition. Its like being a child and thinking that if you really are naughty all year Santa has actually bothered to keep a list of those misdeeds and that you won't get anything but a lump of coal in your stocking come Christmas. I mean, really, there is nothing at all scientifically to support that some groundhog seeing its shadow and being a coward thinking that its some type of predator goes back to hide in its burrow means our winter will be any longer or shorter.
But isn't it kind of like waking up on a Friday the 13th and finding out your car is snowed in from some freak storm that passed last night so you're going to arrive late to work, only to find that you can't find your keys after digging yourself out, and in your haste to get out the door you accidentally step on your glasses? I mean really, that series of unfortunate events could happen any day, and probably has to most of us...and most likely not on the 13th of the month, let alone a FRIDAY the 13th. BUT...that doesn't mean we aren't alot more likely to attribute our crappy luck to the date on the calendar. Likewise, if winter lasts longer and gets any worse (or, correction, doesn't get significantly better) aren't we so much more likely to blame it on the 'hog?
Of course, these are all examples of bias affirmation, because if every friday the 13th that passed was just a regular day you don't notice. And if it happens to be a lucky day for you, you wouldn't be like 'well thats cause Friday the 13th is my lucky day!"...you're a lot more likely to either ignore the date entirely, or to say something like 'well, after all the unlucky ones I've had its about time I got something half decent!". And if the stupid Groundhog hadn't seen its shadow, I would have spent this entire post praising its little being for being so agreeable and NOT seeing its shadow, and then if winter lasted 3 more months and was frigid and snowy I would have forgotten that Groundhogs day ever existed. Or, I would have criticized the weather in some way for going against the 'hogs prediction, knowing it was all a bunch of phooey!
Lol...gotta love being human, and human nature. For now, everyone be prepared, Wednesday's high is estimates at -13 degrees celsius, and now with that gosh-darned Groundhog I'm sure there will be lots more crappy weather to come :-p
Happy Monday/Groundhogs day Y'all!!!
Cheers
Ok, so really I get it. Although there actually is a Groundhog (in case you were wondering exactly WHICH groundhog to curse, its name is Punxsutawney Phil) this whole superstition is nothing but that: silly superstition. Its like being a child and thinking that if you really are naughty all year Santa has actually bothered to keep a list of those misdeeds and that you won't get anything but a lump of coal in your stocking come Christmas. I mean, really, there is nothing at all scientifically to support that some groundhog seeing its shadow and being a coward thinking that its some type of predator goes back to hide in its burrow means our winter will be any longer or shorter.
But isn't it kind of like waking up on a Friday the 13th and finding out your car is snowed in from some freak storm that passed last night so you're going to arrive late to work, only to find that you can't find your keys after digging yourself out, and in your haste to get out the door you accidentally step on your glasses? I mean really, that series of unfortunate events could happen any day, and probably has to most of us...and most likely not on the 13th of the month, let alone a FRIDAY the 13th. BUT...that doesn't mean we aren't alot more likely to attribute our crappy luck to the date on the calendar. Likewise, if winter lasts longer and gets any worse (or, correction, doesn't get significantly better) aren't we so much more likely to blame it on the 'hog?
Of course, these are all examples of bias affirmation, because if every friday the 13th that passed was just a regular day you don't notice. And if it happens to be a lucky day for you, you wouldn't be like 'well thats cause Friday the 13th is my lucky day!"...you're a lot more likely to either ignore the date entirely, or to say something like 'well, after all the unlucky ones I've had its about time I got something half decent!". And if the stupid Groundhog hadn't seen its shadow, I would have spent this entire post praising its little being for being so agreeable and NOT seeing its shadow, and then if winter lasted 3 more months and was frigid and snowy I would have forgotten that Groundhogs day ever existed. Or, I would have criticized the weather in some way for going against the 'hogs prediction, knowing it was all a bunch of phooey!
Lol...gotta love being human, and human nature. For now, everyone be prepared, Wednesday's high is estimates at -13 degrees celsius, and now with that gosh-darned Groundhog I'm sure there will be lots more crappy weather to come :-p
Happy Monday/Groundhogs day Y'all!!!
Cheers
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
What do I really want??......
I'm feeling very existential today. I'm wondering where my life is heading, where I want it to head, where I REALLY want it to head, what path would be the most fulfilling one for me to pursue...I don't know, I'm pretty much questioning everything. Every time I think I have a path narrowed down and think I am happy with heading down that path, I have one of these existential breakdowns and feel relatively unsure of myself and every aspect of my life.
I mean, I believe in psychology, in the fact that I am meant to be a psychologist, and that being a psychologist will bring me happiness. I do. But, I mean, is that what I want to do when I'm in my 30's or is that more the plan after I have done other things? What other things do I want to do if it is the case that I would rather wait until later to start my psychology career? I miss singing, I miss acting, I miss playing the french horn. I love writing and wish I could find a way of having something I write published. I want to take part in something exciting...like being part of a step team and competing all over Ontario. I want to get a group of people and take a road trip to Florida or something, and stop and see all the sights along the way. I want to perform a bunch of my songs in little lounges for pennies. I wanna take a hip hop dance class and see if I could be the next big dancer. I want to perform on broadway, or in a little movie with a serious theme.
Ok, I am seeing a trend here. I am a very artistic. VERY artistic. I miss being able to express myself through all of those artistic outlets. Sometimes I feel like I am way too much of a free spirit to have reigned myself so fully down like this. I mean, sometimes the world is this whimsical, beautiful, complex place, and I want to be able to express that somehow, put it down, put it together, DELIVER it to the world, to the country, to the audience of 10. I don't want to be a professional _____________________________ (insert artistic job here), I don't want to do it for life, I just want to take the chance to experience it now, before I'm too old and its too late to do it.
I went back to school because I missed challenging myself, I missed learning, I missed THINKING in general. And I think I have done an awesome thing, and even with all this existential thought I don't want to (never even consider the concept of) drop out or anything. I want to stay in school til I reach my goal. But I don't want my entire life to be about this school thing right now. I feel like I need to spread my wings and fly, and I don't know how to reach that goal, I don't know how to do that. I don't know if I even have the ability to do it anymore. Maybe I already am way too late, maybe I am too old already. My heart and soul feel tortured right now. I gotta figure out what I want, where I want to go, what I wanna be and how I want to be that. I need to make my life more fulfilling and balanced right now because I think without doing that I may just say f*** it altogether and become a career customer service rep.
*sigh*
Cheers
I mean, I believe in psychology, in the fact that I am meant to be a psychologist, and that being a psychologist will bring me happiness. I do. But, I mean, is that what I want to do when I'm in my 30's or is that more the plan after I have done other things? What other things do I want to do if it is the case that I would rather wait until later to start my psychology career? I miss singing, I miss acting, I miss playing the french horn. I love writing and wish I could find a way of having something I write published. I want to take part in something exciting...like being part of a step team and competing all over Ontario. I want to get a group of people and take a road trip to Florida or something, and stop and see all the sights along the way. I want to perform a bunch of my songs in little lounges for pennies. I wanna take a hip hop dance class and see if I could be the next big dancer. I want to perform on broadway, or in a little movie with a serious theme.
Ok, I am seeing a trend here. I am a very artistic. VERY artistic. I miss being able to express myself through all of those artistic outlets. Sometimes I feel like I am way too much of a free spirit to have reigned myself so fully down like this. I mean, sometimes the world is this whimsical, beautiful, complex place, and I want to be able to express that somehow, put it down, put it together, DELIVER it to the world, to the country, to the audience of 10. I don't want to be a professional _____________________________ (insert artistic job here), I don't want to do it for life, I just want to take the chance to experience it now, before I'm too old and its too late to do it.
I went back to school because I missed challenging myself, I missed learning, I missed THINKING in general. And I think I have done an awesome thing, and even with all this existential thought I don't want to (never even consider the concept of) drop out or anything. I want to stay in school til I reach my goal. But I don't want my entire life to be about this school thing right now. I feel like I need to spread my wings and fly, and I don't know how to reach that goal, I don't know how to do that. I don't know if I even have the ability to do it anymore. Maybe I already am way too late, maybe I am too old already. My heart and soul feel tortured right now. I gotta figure out what I want, where I want to go, what I wanna be and how I want to be that. I need to make my life more fulfilling and balanced right now because I think without doing that I may just say f*** it altogether and become a career customer service rep.
*sigh*
Cheers
Monday, January 26, 2009
Rant about inconsiderateness (is that even a word? :-p)
I have had so many things cross my mind and my life in the past few days that have irked me. Seriously, so many that in fact as I now am sitting here, having started this post to complain about all of them, am wondering whether the problem is the world or if it's really just me being in a rotten mood. The problem is I don't feel like I'm in a rotten mood. Not at all. I mean sure, I'm not happy that the deep freeze is back, I'm am vaguely tired of being quite as broke as I am, and I am in a school where I know virtually nobody and spend my days in solitude, even though I am naturally a very sociable person. But things aren't that bad...not that I dwell on them ALL that much...well maybe the social issue, but beyond that...
I don't know though. I think maybe what has been getting to me and the reason why my social outcastness has been so prevalent since coming to University are kinda one in the same. Realistically I just don't have faith in the human race anymore, I think. Wait. Thats not exactly what I meant. I mean more so that human nature, human beings, and particularly the aspect of being entirely inconsiderate of other people has been getting on my nerves. I mean seriously, I was on the GO bus this morning and this person beside me decided the back of my seat was a good place to dig her knee into. Not that that bothered me all that terribly. No, what really got to me was the fact that she was figety, constantly moving around and therefore movibng the back of my seat around in the process. Oh, and she would dig her knee further into my seat as she shifted, so that not only was I being violently jerked around, I also had to endure this with something digging painfully into my back.
Now, most people would ask "Well, why didn't you say anything to her? Ask her politely to stop?". I ask myself such questions all the time in these situations, and I've determined that I am just too nice of a person. I don't want to insult anyone's intelligence, and I don't want to be rude to anyone..and I fear that anything I say will be taken in either of these ways. I mean really, I think once we get to a certain age there are just some things that should go without saying. And I honestly don't know how to approach someone who clearly should know better when they're doing something that I find inconsiderate and personally find assinine that their behaviour is happening at the moment. I mean, treat others as we want to be treated right? That is exactly the reason why I do my best to be as considerate as humanly possible of others rights and feelings when I'm out in public. Plus really I want people to realize that no, I was not raised by farm animals or monkeys or some other manner of beast that clearly was never taught manners.
Hmmm...i think I have gotten off topic...well, is it possible to even get off topic in a blog post? Maybe, maybe not. I mean, after all it IS supposed to be me sharing my thoughts and feelings...can I help it that I am random? Probably. Do I want to? Not at the moment. Maybe I wouldn't be so crazy to begin with if I didn't sit in solitude for 6 hours a day at school. Oh yeah, school and why humanities flaws prevent me from making friends here. NOW I remember...
Ok, so here's the thing. Its not that I have a problem with ALL 19 year old people. Really, I don't. Its just that there's a certain kind of 19 year old person who drives me batty and I feel that the only opportunity I have to communicate with people at school is with these 19 year olds. I don't hate them, as much as I feel that I have grown past that stage of development and can no longer relate. Like, for example, when I am in a library I am relatively quiet, understanding the concept that other people are probably here to work, and even if not all of them are I try to be considerate of those that could be--after all, they could be me and I would appreciate the respect. But you have these children who feel the need to practically scream at each other in the library, while doing absolutely no work, practically over your head, while you sit there in shock wondering when they'll realize where they are. And thats when someone will ask them to keep it down. And then they look pointedly at the person, roll their eyes, and then almost purposefully speak a bit louder and quite a bit longer. Or the ones that say sorry and can only maintain that quiet polite tone of voice for all of 30 seconds before they go buck wild again.
There are many more examples I can use that I encounter on a day to day basis, but I think I've made my point. Unfortunately for me because I did start school so late I am surrounded by these people and this age group, and until I find others who have matured and are more considerate, I am destined to walk alone @ Mac. Sad how at Sheridan it was SOOOO much easier to find these people. Maybe because the program I was in was a transfer program and therefore geared toward people who had taken time off between high school and college to work and "find themselves". *sigh*
Oh well, gotta do a wee (and I do mean 'wee') bit of reading before I head out at 1:30. Hope everyone has a great week (last week of the first month of 2009 already!) and remember to bundle up!! The deep freeze isn't supposed to let up til Thursday at the earliest!!
Cheers
I don't know though. I think maybe what has been getting to me and the reason why my social outcastness has been so prevalent since coming to University are kinda one in the same. Realistically I just don't have faith in the human race anymore, I think. Wait. Thats not exactly what I meant. I mean more so that human nature, human beings, and particularly the aspect of being entirely inconsiderate of other people has been getting on my nerves. I mean seriously, I was on the GO bus this morning and this person beside me decided the back of my seat was a good place to dig her knee into. Not that that bothered me all that terribly. No, what really got to me was the fact that she was figety, constantly moving around and therefore movibng the back of my seat around in the process. Oh, and she would dig her knee further into my seat as she shifted, so that not only was I being violently jerked around, I also had to endure this with something digging painfully into my back.
Now, most people would ask "Well, why didn't you say anything to her? Ask her politely to stop?". I ask myself such questions all the time in these situations, and I've determined that I am just too nice of a person. I don't want to insult anyone's intelligence, and I don't want to be rude to anyone..and I fear that anything I say will be taken in either of these ways. I mean really, I think once we get to a certain age there are just some things that should go without saying. And I honestly don't know how to approach someone who clearly should know better when they're doing something that I find inconsiderate and personally find assinine that their behaviour is happening at the moment. I mean, treat others as we want to be treated right? That is exactly the reason why I do my best to be as considerate as humanly possible of others rights and feelings when I'm out in public. Plus really I want people to realize that no, I was not raised by farm animals or monkeys or some other manner of beast that clearly was never taught manners.
Hmmm...i think I have gotten off topic...well, is it possible to even get off topic in a blog post? Maybe, maybe not. I mean, after all it IS supposed to be me sharing my thoughts and feelings...can I help it that I am random? Probably. Do I want to? Not at the moment. Maybe I wouldn't be so crazy to begin with if I didn't sit in solitude for 6 hours a day at school. Oh yeah, school and why humanities flaws prevent me from making friends here. NOW I remember...
Ok, so here's the thing. Its not that I have a problem with ALL 19 year old people. Really, I don't. Its just that there's a certain kind of 19 year old person who drives me batty and I feel that the only opportunity I have to communicate with people at school is with these 19 year olds. I don't hate them, as much as I feel that I have grown past that stage of development and can no longer relate. Like, for example, when I am in a library I am relatively quiet, understanding the concept that other people are probably here to work, and even if not all of them are I try to be considerate of those that could be--after all, they could be me and I would appreciate the respect. But you have these children who feel the need to practically scream at each other in the library, while doing absolutely no work, practically over your head, while you sit there in shock wondering when they'll realize where they are. And thats when someone will ask them to keep it down. And then they look pointedly at the person, roll their eyes, and then almost purposefully speak a bit louder and quite a bit longer. Or the ones that say sorry and can only maintain that quiet polite tone of voice for all of 30 seconds before they go buck wild again.
There are many more examples I can use that I encounter on a day to day basis, but I think I've made my point. Unfortunately for me because I did start school so late I am surrounded by these people and this age group, and until I find others who have matured and are more considerate, I am destined to walk alone @ Mac. Sad how at Sheridan it was SOOOO much easier to find these people. Maybe because the program I was in was a transfer program and therefore geared toward people who had taken time off between high school and college to work and "find themselves". *sigh*
Oh well, gotta do a wee (and I do mean 'wee') bit of reading before I head out at 1:30. Hope everyone has a great week (last week of the first month of 2009 already!) and remember to bundle up!! The deep freeze isn't supposed to let up til Thursday at the earliest!!
Cheers
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Playing Hookie...
Darn right I am today, and boy does it feel lovely!! Seriously, sometimes your body craves some R&R more than it craves anything else. I swear to god I have a fever and headache all day sometimes because I am just that exhausted with my long days, long commutes and the long hours I put in otherwise for school. Plus there's the whole insomniac thing, which really doesn't help anything at all. So, every once in a while I just desperately need to stay home and actually get more than 2 hours of sleep for the night. Which I did, and as I said it feels particularly lovely!! I gotta put in some school time today though, work on an assignment or do some reading or something...but not right now...right now I'm just gonna sit back and..chill...ahhhhh
*Smile* Cheers
*Smile* Cheers
Monday, January 19, 2009
Death and Dying: The Western Experience
This is the title of one of my classes this semester...it is a class that I have been trying to get into since last year, so I'm pretty psyched that I finally got into it. One thing I'm finding pretty fascinating about this class, other than the actual material covered, is the fact that we are consistently told to ask ourselves certain questions about the pertinent material.
One of those questions which came up in the very first day in class is why do you want to take this course and what are you expecting to get from it. I've been dwelling on the answer to this question for some time now...It occurs to me, of course, that I have been practically desperate to take the course, and in fact spent a good two days consistently (I mean literally for hours at a time) to get into it. But why? What about death fascinates me so? What made this something I absolutely positively HAD to study while I had the opportunity?
I have come to some conclusions, although not at all to the ultimate answer. I know for a fact that it isn't some morbid fascination or preoccupation with death and dying. It isn't because of some recent realization of my definite mortality or that I could possibly die at any moment. It's not because I have some fascination with societal values and beliefs about death and dying...ok, ok, I'm sure you're thinking to yourself 'yes J. Christle, we get it, there's all these reasons that are NOT your reason for taking the course. Why ARE you taking it then?'.
The answer is, of course, that I'm not entirely sure, although I feel that the answer to that question will become a lot clearer in the weeks to come as I weed all the reasons why I am clearly NOT taking the course. I can tell you that the fascination came with my stepmothers sudden passing away and all of the things surrounding death, religion and custom that I encountered as a result. I don't think my reason is ABOUT her per se, as much as I think on some deep subconscious level these happenings raised some type of existential or philosophical questions about the concepts of death and dying within my psyche which I feel a deep need to explore. Stay tuned, I'll definitely throw an update out there if I come to something.
Sorry for the obscurity of this post, I'll try not to be quite so existential in the next one.
On a lighter note, happy Monday everyone!! And boy I'm I ever glad the deep freeze is over for now!! :-p
Cheers
One of those questions which came up in the very first day in class is why do you want to take this course and what are you expecting to get from it. I've been dwelling on the answer to this question for some time now...It occurs to me, of course, that I have been practically desperate to take the course, and in fact spent a good two days consistently (I mean literally for hours at a time) to get into it. But why? What about death fascinates me so? What made this something I absolutely positively HAD to study while I had the opportunity?
I have come to some conclusions, although not at all to the ultimate answer. I know for a fact that it isn't some morbid fascination or preoccupation with death and dying. It isn't because of some recent realization of my definite mortality or that I could possibly die at any moment. It's not because I have some fascination with societal values and beliefs about death and dying...ok, ok, I'm sure you're thinking to yourself 'yes J. Christle, we get it, there's all these reasons that are NOT your reason for taking the course. Why ARE you taking it then?'.
The answer is, of course, that I'm not entirely sure, although I feel that the answer to that question will become a lot clearer in the weeks to come as I weed all the reasons why I am clearly NOT taking the course. I can tell you that the fascination came with my stepmothers sudden passing away and all of the things surrounding death, religion and custom that I encountered as a result. I don't think my reason is ABOUT her per se, as much as I think on some deep subconscious level these happenings raised some type of existential or philosophical questions about the concepts of death and dying within my psyche which I feel a deep need to explore. Stay tuned, I'll definitely throw an update out there if I come to something.
Sorry for the obscurity of this post, I'll try not to be quite so existential in the next one.
On a lighter note, happy Monday everyone!! And boy I'm I ever glad the deep freeze is over for now!! :-p
Cheers
Friday, January 16, 2009
Hey y'all!!
So after a few angry emails and msn messages I have decided to make a new post. Sure, its been 4 months since the first complaints, but better late than never right? :-p Actually I don't think I have ever been more shocked in my life when I actually received complaints from people asking why I hadn't made a new post...I mean, as we all know I have had this blog for a couple years now, and for a couple years now I have been randomly forgetting I have a blog for months and months and months, and nobody has ever seemed to notice.
I guess maybe I have a new following for my writing website as of lately (www.jchristle.tk for those of you who don't know...if you wanna see my cute little back up story you can check out www.therealjc.tk...I think it was pretty awesome anyway, and I designed and programmed those two sites from scratch with my own two little hands..all of my blood, sweat and tears were poured into those sites..there were nights when I couldn't sleep, when I was tortured with self doubt but no matter how hard it got...sorry, what was I talking about again?????)
Oh yeah, so anyway I designed those two sites which I think is pretty impressive given the fact that a) I have absolutely no experience in web design and b) not only did I do all this complex programming (well, complex for me) I also did alot of manipulations to the background pictures, made a bunch of flashing slideshow kinda pictures and stuff like that...pretty neat :-) Plus, all of the writing on this site are what I like to call J. Christle originals.
My other site was designed by a friend (well, you all know Desi right?) who has a degree in computer science and therefore is pretty awesome at these things. (My other site is really awesome though...its so ME...I pretty much designed the layout, and there are these little barbie doll things all over the site, which I DID make by hand!!)
Wait a minute, in my ranting I totally forgot the whole point of this entry. Well, thank you for all those who follow the blog, I'll try my best to be more dilligent in the future making my entries...I should get on writing some new poetry or stories too...its been quite a while since I've updated my site. Anywho, for now..
Cheers
I guess maybe I have a new following for my writing website as of lately (www.jchristle.tk for those of you who don't know...if you wanna see my cute little back up story you can check out www.therealjc.tk...I think it was pretty awesome anyway, and I designed and programmed those two sites from scratch with my own two little hands..all of my blood, sweat and tears were poured into those sites..there were nights when I couldn't sleep, when I was tortured with self doubt but no matter how hard it got...sorry, what was I talking about again?????)
Oh yeah, so anyway I designed those two sites which I think is pretty impressive given the fact that a) I have absolutely no experience in web design and b) not only did I do all this complex programming (well, complex for me) I also did alot of manipulations to the background pictures, made a bunch of flashing slideshow kinda pictures and stuff like that...pretty neat :-) Plus, all of the writing on this site are what I like to call J. Christle originals.
My other site was designed by a friend (well, you all know Desi right?) who has a degree in computer science and therefore is pretty awesome at these things. (My other site is really awesome though...its so ME...I pretty much designed the layout, and there are these little barbie doll things all over the site, which I DID make by hand!!)
Wait a minute, in my ranting I totally forgot the whole point of this entry. Well, thank you for all those who follow the blog, I'll try my best to be more dilligent in the future making my entries...I should get on writing some new poetry or stories too...its been quite a while since I've updated my site. Anywho, for now..
Cheers
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
